Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
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