If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
Just realized I probably only have one more wedding where I can say I fucked the bride.
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
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