We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
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