I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
My math professor just asked us to draw the graph of the derivative of our drunkenness from friday to sunday. Dear Jesus this looks bad.
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
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