hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
Randomize
