last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
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