Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
you will always have a special place in my vag
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
Randomize
