FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
Randomize