Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
Last night when we were having sex he put the condom on backwards the first time. While he was putting the second one on I blew up the first one, made it into a balloon and hit him in the head with it. I think we're over the honeymoon stage.
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
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