very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
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