So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
Randomize
