By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
Randomize
