He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
I fill condoms, not promises.
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
You were trust falling into bushes
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
My ex-wife, who I haven't heard from since the divorce, just Amazoned me cherry flavored massage oil and a rainbow caps with the message "Happy Pride". What's the polite response?
Randomize
