Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
Randomize
