how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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