We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
I woke up and there is a food processor in my purse. Someone else's framed family photo. My front door is wide open and my gerbil is playing in the water bong.
Yeah I'm going to bathe him.
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
Randomize
