normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
