so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Randomize
