after a month anything with tits is on the radar
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
is this the sara with the beer cane?
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
My friend asked me if I got home okay and I replied "Glad teat. Goodnight." Usually I can translate drunk me, but I'm even lost on that one.
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
Randomize
