If the Four Horseman of the Apocalypse gang banged each other and had a kid, it would look like the creature I woke up next to this morning.
He had one of those small greek statue penises
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
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