I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
I'll admit it. It was a bad idea to sneak a fart out while she was taking a nap. Can you bring me a pair of underwear from my dresser. Preferably the one with the walruses in party hats one.
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
Randomize
