i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
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