I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
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