They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
Both the cop and the paramedic were hitting on me while I was on the ambulance. My boob fell out and they just about had full on erections right there. They Came back two hours later to sign my cast with their phone numbers. #stillhotwhilebleeding
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
Randomize
