I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
Randomize
