I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
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