My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
Randomize
