I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
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