It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
Randomize
