there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
Randomize
