he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
Randomize
