What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
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