Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
someone owes me an orgasm
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Randomize
