I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
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