ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
Randomize
