$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
She’s leaving for college so I made her a gift basket with all the essentials. You know- Ramen, a 12 pack of PBR, some leftover Plan B pills and a laminated business card for a good lawyer. Damn I’m a good big sister.
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
Randomize
