Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
You called yourself Captain Aspirin and then tried to cure my headache by shoving pills up my nose. Fuck you becoming a nurse, you can't take care of me while you're drunk ever again. Ever.
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
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