A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
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