I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
Randomize
