...so i touched it.
i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
Randomize
