i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
Just got booked to do a bachelorette party for a polygamist wedding. And notice I only text you to rub things in your face and show you my life shits on yours. Daily.
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
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