I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
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