This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
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