We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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