what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
Randomize
