I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
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