I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
as a side note pls kill me
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