Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
