Welp...herpes.
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
In other news, I woke up still drunk and I think I literally just broke the Guinness book of world records for most bloody Mary's in one day...
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
Randomize
