God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
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