grandma shit on top of the toilet
I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
Love that I’m sending my uber driver a thank you message for taking me home via mcdonalds tonight before I’m messaging my date from tonight! Lol
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
Randomize
