So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
420 ftw
I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
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