me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
Randomize
