Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
She told me I should be a condom model.
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
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