you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
Randomize
