i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
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