She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
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