yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
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