The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
Randomize
