there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
Randomize
