You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
TSA literally pulled two bottles of whiskey out of my bag. Once he saw the leopard print socks and the mickey mouse tank, he put it back in my bag and said "Have a fun trip, man."
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
You came home screaming the lyrics to Drunk in love, and dumped wine on me when I said you would never be Beyoncé
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
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