My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
Randomize
