I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
Randomize
